What did I worry about most in 2019?
2019 had too many worries! My dear husband was very sick with an infection/abscess in his colon. I worried to no end about him. We really did not know what we were facing for a long time and then he kept getting worse. We literally found ourselves facing a nightmare, our bread-winner was to have major surgery with no guarantees of restored health. I would have to say my biggest fear, other than losing him, was to be without an income or deep in medical debt. Praise God, none of those fears were realized. Jeff's health is slowly being restored. His employer-provided short term disability for 6 weeks! And our insurance took care of most of the $197,000 bill. My working paid for our share, $10,000. God provided once again!
What's one thing that changed about me?
As a result of our trial, I had to step up and do more for myself. Jeff literally would go to work and come home to bed for weeks on end. I was mom and dad to our kids. It was exhausting at times. I really missed Jeff's companionship, too. It is only recently that he has started to do more, thankfully! I did see how I had become lazy, depending on him for little things I could and should do myself. It also gave me a taste of what it must be like to be a single parent or widow. I grew in appreciation of my husband's provision and his ability to keep going when he was even at his worst. I learned to admire him anew.
If you could go back to last January 1, what suggestions would you give to your past self?
This is a good question! I am thankful that I ran to my Lord when things got so hard. I was used to praying and reading my Bible so I felt strengthed for the valley of 2019. So I would tell myself to keep in God's word, pray and surround myself with godly friends because you do not know when you will face a difficult time. Also, trials do not last forever. It only feels like circumstances will never change.
Wonderful post my friend! I`m so happy that Jeff is finally on the road to recovery, that finances worked out, and that your worst fears did not come to be but that God carried you through. It certainly does seem that it takes things like that to appreciate so much of what we take for granted. Recovery might seem like forever, but we can all be thankful that there is a recovery rather than the dreaded.
ReplyDeleteLet's see, suggestions to myself. Guard my tongue (I get myself in trouble too often) and quietly trusting God without sharing my heart. Amber's trip this past summer and extended family friction was almost the end of me. Also learning to surrender my life expectations, realizing almost nobody's life goes exactly how we dreampt it would -- I know, surprising! But kind of a revelation for me for some odd reason. I had to and continue to surrender my dreams and disappointments and find joy in the present. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad you are back to blogging! ❤
Hello friend! I'm so glad to see you here, and even happier to read of Jeff's recovery. Deo Gratias!
ReplyDeleteI haven't been able to pick up blogging again as I had hoped after we last wrote, but I do intend to in the New Year. We leave for Michigan this afternoon for Christmas with my mom and will be back next Monday evening. I hope to have my first re-boot post up next week sometime. Thanks for the encouragement, it's great to see you posting again, and I'll contact Sally in the interim. Happy New Year! x
Wow, what a year it was for you! I had been so busy with my own life that I didn't realize, but occasionally I did pray for you. I hope that 2020 will be easier for your family.
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