Once in awhile, I struggle with feeling insignificant. Here I am with the same old list of to do's: laundry, dishes, toilets, floors. So, I strive to cheerfully remember to "do all to the glory of God." Mothering is a lonely job that is only noticed when it is not done.
And then the little attacks come. "Are you really doing anything of importance with your life?" "Look at so and so. She has a career. You gave up yours for your family. Now look at you, and they don't even appreciate you. And you are forever needing more money. If you only worked." "I mopped today. The kids were educated. We have clean clothes." It doesn't seem like much, checking boxes on my list.
It is so tempting to give in to these thoughts. Sometimes I struggle with feeling that I am uninteresting, simple, unneeded. This is a battle I must win. I am truly grateful to be home. I do see the value. But the struggle gets harder the older my kids get.
I think perhaps that I have been too busy lately. I have been caught up in the world of band parent. I have been making an extra effort to get my social kids to their church group an hour away two or three times a week. I have been volunteering in Sunday school. I am a small group leader. I have a million things on my mind trying to get my oldest off to college next fall. College is a huge deal and requires a lot of mental energy that I did not count on. On top of it all is this crazy election that has me perplexed and upset at best. Toss in a crazy hurricane and I am now officially worried about people I love in Florida. I need fall break. I am really looking forward to this fall break!!!