And then the little attacks come. "Are you really doing anything of importance with your life?" "Look at so and so. She has a career. You gave up yours for your family. Now look at you, and they don't even appreciate you. And you are forever needing more money. If you only worked." "I mopped today. The kids were educated. We have clean clothes." It doesn't seem like much, checking boxes on my list.
It is so tempting to give in to these thoughts. Sometimes I struggle with feeling that I am uninteresting, simple, unneeded. This is a battle I must win. I am truly grateful to be home. I do see the value. But the struggle gets harder the older my kids get.
I think perhaps that I have been too busy lately. I have been caught up in the world of band parent. I have been making an extra effort to get my social kids to their church group an hour away two or three times a week. I have been volunteering in Sunday school. I am a small group leader. I have a million things on my mind trying to get my oldest off to college next fall. College is a huge deal and requires a lot of mental energy that I did not count on. On top of it all is this crazy election that has me perplexed and upset at best. Toss in a crazy hurricane and I am now officially worried about people I love in Florida. I need fall break. I am really looking forward to this fall break!!!
Thanks for sharing your heart Jenn. Although it doesn't seem glamorous at times and the grass usually seems greener on the other side (but isn't), the life you (& I ) lead are significant to our Father. We are a helpmeet as He designed us to be, a mother raising arrows, and worth more than rubies. Just being there & setting the tone of our homes... a place of warmth and peace and safety from all the storms of this wicked world are of great value. Our Anna was just sharing a conversation she had at work recently... (many of the teens/young adults that work there are from broken homes) and a guy said to Anna, "and I suppose your are one of THOSE people where the dad goes to work, and the mom stays home and teaches you". Wow, that really took me back a little... something I sometimes take for granted, but yes, we are one of THOSE "Leave it to Beaver" type homes where the dad DOES supply for his family, and just the comfort of mom just always being there for her loved ones is envied by so many... they wish they had what we are living. So I guess discontentment is everywhere and I'm sure many only dream of the life you & I have as well.
ReplyDeleteLove you Dear! You're faithfulness and encouraging spirit shine and you are worth far more than rubies. ♥
Right there with you.
ReplyDeleteIt is Satan whispering....
Your husband couldn't afford you if he had to pay....a housekeeper, a private tutor, a personal shopper, a cook, a chauffeur, and about 100 other things.
Oh Jenn how did I miss this post... I have been away from the computer and only just a moment to say hello to you on twitter.. Which BTW : I alwasy look forward to what you say and share there.. And your not insignificant to me.. You along with a select few have always been there for me and my ever changing blog..hA and who else is gonna love Poldark like me and talk about it.
ReplyDeleteHang in.. TQOBS is right. Thats Satan Talk there!
(((hugs))) You are far from insignificant dear friend. Satan loves to steal the joy from our lives.. May you feel the Father reaching out to you and holding you closely. You matter to Him!
ReplyDeleteIn His Time
ReplyDeleteIn His time, in his time
He Makes all things beautiful
In His time
Lord, Please show me every day
As You're teaching me Your way
That You do just what you say
In Your time.
In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful
In Your time
Lord, My life to you I bring
May each song I have to sing
Be to You a lovely thing
In Your time
Lord, please show me every day
As You're teaching me Your way
That You do just what you say
In Your time.
In Your time.
In Your time.